Hi Siblings! ^_^ The Sunday morning marriage class had been quite interesting and thought-provoking. I've attended a few classes and thought they helped us evaluate our current attitude and marital status (borderline good, not-so-good, or bad?!! j/k). I know I have much to learn, and tons to confess (like 2 weeks ago after much nagging by hubby, my hands unexpectly grabbed the nearest object ~ a perfectly ripened Ranch banana ~ and hurled it at my startled hubby).
We are all sinners, and honestly (try as we may) will never be able to meet all of our spouses' expectations (and vice versa). Even if this is hypothetically achieveable, we will never be satisfied by them anyways. The age old question of "chicken or the egg first?" continues in the wedded community in the form of "wife submit first? Or husband love first?" The surprise answer may be....Neither! When we focus on our own needs, we've lost sight of the love which truly satisfy ~ Christ's unconditinal love which you and I thirst for. 
The truth is, Christ didn't wait until we admitted our sinfulness to him or declared our love for him, before dying for us. But while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. He showed us by His example of sacrificial love, without expecting anything from us in return. He did this because He loved us more than his own life, and willingly gave it up for us.
This morning I came across "Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever he does, whether he is slave or free." When we do something for our honey, sometimes we may never hear of it, or receive anything tangible in return (thus we may feel like 'slave', yes?). I admit...when I expect much and get little response, I am often tempted to throw my honey out the window (or jettison nearby produce at him).
But let us encourage one another and remind ourselves that God sees our hearts and efforts. Let's do everything as if we're doing it unto the Lord. The result? Our features will relax, our blood pressure will drop, our heart rate will slow down, and our sleep will be sweet. Without the Lord as the Sole source of our satisfaction, we will never be able to love anyone without expectation. With God, however, all things are possible!
This makes marrige the most difficult vow to uphold in this life, because there's no guarantee of positive gain (who can guarantee the integrity of their own health, finances or self-control?). It's not a 50/50 deal, but rather, each party gives 100% to the Lord, and He blesses our marriage and makes it 10,000% more fruitful (like the 5 bread & 2 fish). The "Attitude check" and "To-Do list" in our marriage class will not do us any good if we do not seek acceptance, approval, and appreciation from the True Root of Love ~ our Heavenly Father. No created being (be it spouse, parent, child, or friend) will ever satisfy our need to be loved and accepted unconditionally. Our hubbies and wives have their share of childhood baggage, temperamental imperfections, unappealing habits and weaknesses. So do we!
But if we look to our Creator daily to give us the love, acceptance, comfort and peace we desire, our love tank will continually be filled to the brim, and we let our spouse off the hook to express her/his love in a carefree way. The pressure to perform (by spouse) will vanish and we are able to breathe deeply and love each other openly, without pressure! It was wonderful for our GV family study 1 John! Christ's Love is what real love is all about! Now remind me before I'm jailed for committing the "Battery by Banana" crime!
Thank you for your genuine sharing and encouragement. Your husband was blessed that it was a banana nearby you. My hubby wasn't that lucky one time when he made me very made while I was washing dishes.....!
ReplyDeleteHmm....I wonder what you hurled at your hubby? ^_^ I guess I learned to just verbalize my feelings, esp. "Don't nag before dinnertime! Tell me after I have a full stomach!" Next time I'll probably throw the next thing (by the banana) ~ Hubby's prize handsigned teapot from Taiwan's In-Guh town! ^_^ Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteOur Family Circus ^_^